Tag Archives: Bryce Rigney

The Humility of Circumstance

These past 18 months, I’ve learned how difficult it is for me to learn a lesson of humility–Life decides what circumstances happen and when; not me.   I get to react: make choices/decisions, pick my attitude.  I don’t get to create my climate. The water that travels under Kandu and the winds that blow above her are not of my making. Although I may try to navigate toward favorable possibilities, in the end, nothing is certain.  What was a circumstance a hundred times before, may no longer be when we arrive, for better or worse.  The friendly gendarme that typically may have extended visas before, may require boats to leave the country in 72 hours.   The bay noted for theft may hold the friendliest family, with whom we remain lifelong friends.  Obvious, right?  So why do I find myself still behaving as if I make my own circumstance?  How  many times will I pick a departure date, assuming that everything that needs to be done, will be done by that date, that no other events will arise, by our own choice or by chance, to interfere with that date?  We signed up to depart with a 125 other boats, figuring this would force our hand to have to leave.  We spent money, in other words, bet that we would leave on that date.  Well, we lost that bet.  When we realized we couldn’t make that date, what did we do?  We set another date.  And what happened with that date?  We realized we couldn’t realistically achieve that one either.  Are you starting to see a pattern here?  What’s the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans,” or “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”?  If this were an experiment, we’d question the premise.

What perspective would align us more with reality? We have experience preparing a boat for long distance cruising.  Why has it been so difficult to set a date certain with this trip?  What’s different?

1) The Boat:  On the other three long-distance trips that I experienced, we left on my uncle’s boat, the boat that he built and maintained regularly.  He knew what needed to be done to prepare Getel, his 32-foot ferro-cement cutter; the list was short and the surprises were few.  For this upcoming trip, we purchased a 25 year-old boat that was built in a boatyard in Taiwan and had been owned by two unrelated parties.  Having no history with Kandu, we had to make the discoveries, seeking professional advice as needed.  One discovery would lead to another and often many others.  The process was constant, and often discouraging, but the end result left us with greater knowledge and needed experience.  Had we purchased a newer boat, we would not have had as much work.  We would have been ready sooner and had spent much less in preparation.  We would have had to spend nearly triple the amount of the initial purchase, but after the cost of all the improvements to the older boat, we would have been close to the price of the newer boat. The biggest differences are: a) putting all the money upfront versus a three-year “payment” plan, b) having a newer boat that would likely fetch a better resale value, and c) having the education of knowing every inch of your older vessel and how it was put together.  Both options have their merit.  Out of habit, I picked restoring an older boat, knowing I had the benefit of my uncle’s expertise, his time, his network of experts, and his desire to work on a boat.  I now know Kandu nearly as well as if I’d built her.  I know her plumbing and her electrical.  I know a lot about her rigging, and picked every piece of equipment installed in her.  I have an intimate relationship with her that I need in order to feel comfortable navigating her.  I can feel her, if that makes sense.  But this feeling comes at a cost, financial and in delay and frustration.

2) The Voyage: the other three cruising trips I experienced were relatively shorter in distance and duration than what we’re planning now.  Instead of sailing to French Polynesia, Hawaii, and back over 10-20 months; we’re planning a five-year circumnavigation.  We’re going to be out longer, away from the conveniences of home.  We’re going to be subject to a greater variety of conditions: geologic, meteorologic, and cultural; not just the volcanic, coral-ladened islands of greater Franco-American Polynesia.  Consequently, I want to be prepared for these broader variables.  This has required greater research and additional equipment.

3) The Crew:  On the first two previous trips, I was crew, my uncle was captain.  The first trip was to Hawaii and back when I was 14 years-old, a 4-month, relatively brief and austere trip, as cruising goes.  The second trip was with his family, wife and two young daughters.  I was 16-17 years old and we were away for 20 months, again with few luxuries (the one head (toilet) barely worked).  On the third of my cruising voyages, I was captain and my youngest brother, Nick, was my first mate, and the head worked.  There was no refrigeration.  We were joined at various stages of our 10 month voyage by his workmate friend, another brother (Curtis), Leslie, and my uncle.  For this upcoming trip, the crew is my family; Leslie, Bryce (13), and Trent (11).  Employing what I’ve learned from my past experiences and what drives my family, in order for this longer voyage to work, I’ll need to make the boat comfortable (well ventilated, fresh smelling, and accommodating (refrigeration, electronic communication, water-making, microwave, etc.) and fun (fewer boat projects and more options for adventure).  We’ve installed 10 solar powered fan vents and purchased three shade canopies. I’ve spent much effort in odor abatement, addressing the foul smells that typically emanate from the bilge, engine room, and heads. And we have added many daily comfort features both big and small.  I am an admitted safety freak, and have installed many safety features including an AED that my brother, Nick, purchased for us.  Working to get the boat as ready as we have will hopefully provide fewer requirements of time away from other, more fun adventures with the family.  Were the family’s initial cruising experience to be that of waiting for me to frequently install or repair something, tearing up the boat and strewing tools about the cabin sole, they would feel that the promised transition from preparation to adventure were false; that working on the boat at the level we’ve been over the past year were not just a period of preparation, but a normal part of everyday living, then they would quit/mutiny.  It’s important that I leave with a smile on my face.  For fun, Leslie and I got the boys involved in surfing and they love it.  They each have two boards, plus a large soft-top and Boogie boards.  We purchased a tethered underwater diving apparatus that allows us two to explore the nooks and crannies of the surrounding seabeds. We have two folding bicycles and an electric scooter for land-bound exploration beyond public and pedestrian transportation.  We have a tandem kayak and an inflatable stand-up paddle board for water-bound exploration beyond our boat and dinghy.  For entertainment beyond our library of books, we have a multi-system television capable of receiving local broadcast from any country we visit and a region-free blu-ray and DVD player capable of playing discs from almost any country, along with the 300+ movies we’re bringing.  And the boys have their Xbox and iPads with their games aboard.  We also have a keyboard.  It’s vitally important to the success of this venture that the family enjoy the first year.  If not, I risk a premature return to California.

Based on the experience of the last year and half, it seems arrogant to believe I can set a date for such a complex event as that which we are about to embark.  Why have I have had such difficulty putting this principle into effect?  Every time I think I’ve learned the lesson, that I don’t get to decide when and what life events will occur, I find myself frustrated that events aren’t going as I have planned them.  In practice, I only own the rudder to my life (and barely); the water that flows around it belongs to God.  A paradigm shift is occurring.  No longer bound by the constraints of the Baja Ha-ha’s schedule, recognizing that the pressures of schedule are self-inflicted and that going with the flow makes for a more harmonious process–when asked about our departure date, we reply, “We’ll know when we’re going to leave a week before we leave–no sooner.”  I hope I can learn and live this lesson, the humility of circumstance.

Kandu's Rudder
Kandu’s Rudder

 

Stocking Their Quiver

Surfers in Ventura, and probably elsewhere, use the word ‘quiver’ to denote the group of surfboards that a surfer owns.  It’s not unusual for avid surfers to stock a dozen or more boards in their quiver.  Some have 50 or more and drive large cargo vans.  Waves at each location differ from waves at other locations, at any given time, the particular waves at a given location differ depending on weather and sea conditions.  This phenomenon of uniqueness, of only-here-only-now, is what makes surfing so compelling to many surfers: every location is unique and no wave is the same as another.  This characteristic is something Robert Weiner, the acclaimed surfboard maker, expressed to us when we purchased two more of his world-renowned surfboards.  Bryce and Trent’s surfing abilities have improved over the fall, causing them to want smaller, 5’6″-7″ boards.  Smaller boards are more maneuverable than larger, but also less stable.  They are easier to duck dive under waves, but not as fast to paddle.  Robert warned the boys to not be discouraged by the difficulty they would experience as they learn to control these shorter boards.  He said, if they give up, they miss the opportunity to enjoy surfing even more than they already do.

Robert advised Bryce and Trent on their choice of some great used five-finned boards (with five fin boxes at the tail end of the board, surfers have many fin configuration options to choose from, depending on the type of surfing they want to do).  Trent picked out the Get-Up G board recently surfed by professional 16-year-old surfer, Nolan Rapoza.  Bryce picked out a similar shaped board, a Black Punt, one inch shorter and tad thicker than Trent’s, but no art work. Robert taught Trent how to peel off the stickers Trent wanted removed and how to clean up the left over adhesive with Goof Off.  He then instructed Bryce how to prepare and paint his board, if that’s what he wanted.  He even offered to paint it for him if he wanted.  It’s apparent that Robert wants children and their parents to be excited and comfortable with surfing.  He wants surfing to be a positive experience in a teenager’s development.  With all of Robert’s hands-on help, Bryce asked if it might be fair to state that Robert was sponsoring him.  In response, Robert said that ‘because they only surf Roberts boards, and that he helped them with their boards, they now represent his shop, and as such are responsible for making his brand look good by treating other surfers with courtesy and kindness.’  The boys nodded approvingly.  He told them that their upcoming sailing adventure would bring them great wisdom and awareness of the world and other people.  He wants from the boys a full report of the best surf spots when they return.  I asked if he’d mark up a map for us, letting us know some of the great surf spots that he knew of around the world.  He graciously agreed and we returned home to show mom the new boards we just bought.

Although we don’t have a lot of space on the boat, Leslie and I feel the boys’ passion for surfing warrants the effort to find a way to transport the boards.  Besides being physically demanding, surfing might inspire the boys to seek out remote beaches around the world, an adventure for the whole family, and provide them instant entree into surfing communities that exist locally, all around the world.

The next day, Bryce drew a design on paper for his board.  I read an article on the Internet and went off to buy the supplies.  We found them all at Michael’s craft store and headed back to the boat to prep and paint his board. It took nearly all day, but the board turned out great.  We just need to add three layers of clear coat to finish the job and we plan to do that today.  Working with Bryce to make his vision of what he wanted his board to be allowed me to take time away from working on Kandu.  Painting the surfboard provided a great excuse to work with my son and show him how to paint something, a skill he will soon need for Kandu.  Painting a surfboard is something I would have never imagined doing, and wouldn’t have done had it not been for the excitement and desire Bryce so earnestly expressed.  His eye for color and design impresses me.

While I taped up Bryce’s design on his board, Trent practiced duck diving his new board in the marina in front of Kandu.  He loved how much easier it was than with his first board.  The last few weeks of surfing brought large waves.  Not able to duck dive his large board because it’s too buoyant for his weight, the surf beat Trent up, concerning him that he may drown.  He wanted a smaller board that he could duck dive under the waves.  It was Trent who first wanted to add a smaller board to his quiver (well, one board may not qualify as a quiver, but anyway . . . ).  So after an hour of practice, Trent was ready to try his skill.  We reminded him of Robert’s warning, to not be discouraged if surfing the new board wasn’t fun at first, and off he went to Mondo’s Beach, the Waikiki of Ventura.  The waves were not large, but Trent’s desire to master his board was.  On his first wave, he popped up and away he went, turning and maneuvering like he’d had it for months.  Trent’s athletic abilities impress me.  His ability to put into effect the training he receives is remarkable.

The boys want Leslie and I to surf too, so I guess we’ll find some room to bring our long soft-top beginner board too as the Kandu family prepares to stock a quiver of memories.

Bryce's Design Represents His Country and His Board Maker
Bryce’s Design Represents His Country and His Board Maker
Trent on Rapoza Fire
Trent on Rapoza Fire
Made for Nolan Rapoza by Robert Weiner
Made for Nolan Rapoza by Robert Weiner
Robert Weiner on his board before selling it to Bryce
Robert Weiner on his board before selling it to Bryce, Bryce’s first board.

 

Appreciating the Last Chocolate

A study showed that in food tastings, such as chocolate, when the host announces that the next morsel will be the last of the tasting, the taster’s senses heighten, the level of appreciation swells, and thus the last candidate chocolate scores higher than were it elsewhere placed in the line up.  In short, knowing something is the last, the experience becomes magnified, more memorable and savored.

When sailing through the Hawaiian Islands in 1990 with Leslie, we tended to see proportionally more of a given location when we had only 7 to 10 days to spend than when we had six weeks.  The more time we had, the less we saw.

I suppose with shorter time windows, we are more deliberate and comprehensive with our efforts to encapsulate the experience of a given place.  These concentrated experiences are more intense and memorable than when we are time complacent.

This past weekend, we held an “Open Boat,” a chance for friends and family to see us and Kandu before we head out in a few weeks.  They came from as far as San Diego and Yucaipa: friends from our former workplaces and friends whose lives intertwined with our children’s, friends from lives before kids, friends of our parents, friends recently made in Ventura, and yachtee friends living aboard neighboring boats, and more.  It was terrific seeing so many supportive faces and getting a chance to share our plans.  It was a bit like a wedding, not able to spend as much time with everyone as we would have wished, especially considering the distances they traveled to see us and the months since we last met.  It was intense.

The experience set off a bout of deep sadness for Leslie.  The intensity of what was in large part a farewell celebration brought forth an acute awareness of just how much love there is between our friends and us, and that we will not likely be seeing most of them over the next several years.  In cases where older friends or family members are of deteriorating health, we were cognizant that these days could quite possibly be our last together, bidding adieu was especially heart-aching.

Among those included within this list would be my father.  Last winter, my father barely survived a bout with the flu.   Although he didn’t attend the Open Boat, we visited him six weeks ago at his place to celebrate his 80th birthday.  He lives alone in a small studio apartment in Tehachapi, near my brother Tom and his family.  Driving from Ventura to Tehachapi , understanding the visit may be our last with him,  I had intended to share with my father my thoughts of growing up and of my life’s course.  I suggested to Bryce and Trent that they ask questions of their grandfather.  On seeing him, having such dialog or asking such questions seemed contrived and melodramatic.  “Let’s just be,” I told myself, “The past is what it is. Our relationship is what it has been, and one weekend isn’t going to change the past or make for a better future.”  So I just enjoyed my father’s company as we celebrated his landmark birthday together with my sons, with my brother Tom and his family, and with my brother Nick.  I went for a glider ride over the mountains of Tehachapi, something I’ve wanted to do since I was 6 and saw it on the Disney Sunday television show.  We witnessed Tehachapi’s world renowned train loop in full action.  We lunched on ostrich burgers.  And we spent quality time playing with my brother’s children for the first time in 6 years, horseback riding, archery, tractor driving, and more.  In short, with little time available and sensing we may not have time together for a long time to come, if ever; we lived with intention and thus baked many wonderful memories of family and of Tehachapi.

  DSC01954

This is what the cruising circumstance does. It offers an opportunity to live with greater intention.  We, the people we meet, and those who visit us from afar are keenly aware of the limited time we have together.  A little voice reminds us that our time together may be the ‘last time.’  Under such circumstance, we all naturally focus on creating wonderful experiences by which to fondly remember.  As a result, we often get to experience the best of people.  Of course when we leave, we are all very sad, but it is this fore-looming sadness that spurs us to magnify the living while we are together.  Living land-life, I tend to be more complacent because I have time to meet up again later.  I squeeze loved ones into a busy schedule to catch up, spending spurts of time here and there.  But when I see a friend for what may be the last time, for many years to come, it stirs a feeling of intense appreciation, of greater awareness of the present . . . life is magnified.

The cruising life comes with many rewards and many prices.  This past weekend in saying farewell, Leslie and I felt deeply the toll cruising places on friendships.  In saying farewell, we experienced the heightened sensation that comes with tasting ‘the last chocolate,’ . . . for now.

 

 

 

School’s Out for Summer

This week marks the end of a successful school year for Bryce and Trent and the beginning of a surf summer.

On Monday, I chauffeured Trent and Bryce to and from school aboard “Rebel Child,” my former boss’s tricked out Jeep, modified for a form of extreme off-road driving known as rock crawling.

Crawling Rebel Style
Crawling Rebel Style

A show car, it’s a real head turner. While riding shotgun, Bryce remarked how much he loved stoplights, getting a chance to see everyone’s reaction to the “crawler rig.”  I dropped him off to a group of jaw-dropped, screaming girls.  I later picked up Trent surrounded by a group of on-looking buds.  As Trent described it, he had told his friends that he had a surprise for them after school.  One classmate guessed it would be a new dog (something Trent really wants).  Exiting campus, one of his classmates saw the Jeep with its 40-inch wheels, full armor, and large skull decal emblazoned across its doors and proclaimed, “What a cool car!”  Trent said, “I know,” walked up to it and opened the front passenger door.  “NO WAY!!!” said his blown-away friends as he climbed inside.  I have to thank Tommy again for letting me do that for Bryce and Trent.  It was so much fun.

Trent promoted out of fifth grade yesterday.  He adored his teacher, Miss Bird, who understood and appreciated his qualities from the first day at, what was for Trent, a new school.  She made him feel valuable at a time when he was vulnerable.  She inspired him to be his best self.  He beamed as she talked with him after the ceremony.  Trent leaves Pierpont Elementary having earned excellent grades (top scores for two quarters) and having forged several friendships, most of all, Charlie.  We see Charlie several times a week, visiting his family’s beach home or having him on board Kandu.  As part of the class of 2014’s mural, Trent and Charlie have their initials permanently imprinted on the school’s perimeter wall.  The last week of school included a pajama/movie day, an all sports-day, a beach day, and finally, and after-graduation pool party.  Leslie and I are so pleased for Trent, and very proud of what he accomplished this school year in Ventura at Pierpont.

Farewell to Elementary School
Farewell to Elementary School
Waiting To Be Called
Waiting To Be Called
Positive Role
Positive Role

Big GulpBig Gulp

Trent's Mural Initials
Trent’s Mural Initials

As Trent did with Pierpont Elementary, Bryce entered Cabrillo Middle School with practically no connection to anyone on campus. But unlike must young people his age, Bryce entered with cache, boldly walking on with his colored duct tape bowtie (he would later be referred to by his classmates as the “bowtie guy”).  He left yesterday with a yearbook packed with praise and well wishes.  Like a typical guy, Bryce enjoyed woodshop and PE the most. With his grade point average having floated between 3.75 and 4.0 throughout the year, he made honor roll (and yes, we got a bumper sticker). His school treated the entire honor roll to a day at Magic Mountain’s rollercoaster park, bussing them there and back.  Of course Leslie didn’t miss the opportunity to “chaperone” the kids, getting to ride all but one of the roller coasters while the students did their own thing.  Also, classmates who’d heard Bryce perform months earlier at Ventura High for the school district’s talent show, encouraged (begged) Bryce to participate in their school’s talent show.  Last Thursday, Leslie and I attended Bryce’s performance of Train’s “Hey, Soul Sister” as he sang against a karaoke track to the entire school, one grade group at a time.  The seventh-grade class greeted his introduction with screams and cheers. As a token of his gratitude, the day before the last day of school, we helped Bryce make 90 of his banana cream pie doughnuts, a treat he invented in the fifth grade: doughnut-holes piped with banana cream filling, dipped in glaze and graham cracker crumbs and topped with whipped cream. His gesture of appreciation was well received as made apparent in his yearbook where many praised his talents as a singer, baker, world adventurer, and all around cool dude—a remarkable combination that represents just a part of what Bryce is capable.

Chef at Work
Chef at Work
Quality Control
Quality Control
Amigas Signing In
Amigas Signing In
Bryce's School Year Ends
Bryce’s School Year Ends

Lastly, this week marked the beginning of what will likely be a surfing summer.  After months of afterschool surfing soft-top short boards from Costco at Mondo’s Beach, proclaimed as Ventura’s Waikiki; we provided Bryce and Trent a private surf lesson from Jeff Belzer of Makos Surf.  He taught much to us all: some basic surfing skills, practices, and exercises (and vocabulary); local surf spots; and the various characteristics of a surfboard and where to buy one.  The latter sent us over to Robert Weiner, founder, owner, and renowned shaper of Roberts Surfboards. Rob patiently listened to what we learned from Jeff and to the boys’ opinions and hand selected two slightly used epoxy boards from his used board stock.  Bryce and Trent surfed on them the next day.  They liked one, but not the other, so we returned it as Robert suggested.  Not having in stock another like the one the boys liked, he graciously pulled from his car his personal board and swapped it with the board the boys did not like.  It not only matched the preferred board, it came with a dedication to himself embedded in the board: “Made for myself. Lord, thank you for this board.”  With a surf camp starting next Monday, Trent and Bryce, and an invitation from Miss Bird, an avid surfer, to surf with her some day; the boys are well set for a surfin’ summer.

The Pipe at Surfer's Point
The Pipe at Surfer’s Point
Artist's Touch
Artist’s Touch

Gracious Icon
Gracious Icon

In the Background, Leslie's Sailboat Race
Robert’s Board. In the Background, Leslie’s Sailboat Races

http://youtu.be/EkhiSxaGMQ0